“You make me uncomfortable. You need to change.”
It does sound weird, doesn't it? Still, it is a very common, deeply human reaction. And most people react like that, consciously or unconsciously, several times a day. Reflect on yourself, and see what will get clearer in reading this.
We as humans want to avoid fear, discomfort, pain and so on... Some say that our brains try to protect us. So, when someone else makes us uncomfortable, the easiest way is to wish for that other to change.
I am NOT talking about harassment or maltreatment of any kind. With you as my far limit, is to be honored at all times. And there are absolutely situations where we are wronged, subjected to deeply un-human behaviour, and the other really should stop, change or even get arrested.WHere you have not been the others far limit.
I am talking about the day to day encounters with others that make us uncomfortable. That may awaken fear, or reactions in us. Because what we meet may diverge from our opinions. May challenge our view of how the world works. Or may challenge our view of ourselves. May awaken reactions in ourselves that remind us of who we are, what we carry, and maybe, what we don’t want to see. In ourselves. Or in the normative frame we have chosen (or not chosen) to stay within.
There are three great problems or drawbacks with this way of meeting life.
Firstly: we have very little to none power over others. When we wish for others to change when we feel uncomfortable, we give our powers away. We give the power to others to control our wellbeing.
Secondly: When we externalize our discomfort on others, we miss out on chances to meet ourselves and develop. Most discomforts also carry a gift. A gift to see, meet and embrace parts of ourselves that are ready to be integrated and healed. Our experience is that meeting and embracing our discomfort, our fear, our shadow, is necessary to heal shat is behind and evolve.
Thirdly: When we expect others to change not to awaken our own discomforts, we cage them. We say to them “you do not have the right to be who you are”. And that is the worst thing we can do toward another. “With you as my far limit” is a mutual, reciprocal principle. I can be all that I am, as long as I give you the same freedom and respect.
I believe in growth. Human growth.
I believe in growth. Human growth. As one of the very important factors to face our personal challenges. Our societal challenges. And our global challenges. In order to cater for that, we need to take responsibility for ourselves. Hold our own experiences. And let, and expect for others, to do the same.
That is why we work with what we do. With human development. Consciousness evolution.
That is why we have run our programs. For people carry a longing to meet themselves. To grow. To explore the wonder of what it is to be human.
Holistic Human Development is a program that starts two times a year. A program in which we guide you to meet yourself. Deeper. And in that process starting to own your experience. Not externalize on others. In that, you will evolve a deeper happiness. A deeper sense of self. And a greater personal freedom. In that you will understand and meet others better. And you will evolve a more human centered leadership. Of yourself and others.